Friday, November 18, 2011

Five Currant Buns

At this morning’s ‘Bounce and Rhyme’ session, Smidge and I were inspired by the song ‘Five current Buns in a bakers shop.’

Five current buns sounds good to me I thought, feeling more than a little flakey after doing all that singing before I’m barely out of bed, So we stopped off at the local bakery to buy some .

Once Home, I popped Smidge in to her Bumbo chair and broke off tiny bits of bun and put them on her tray. 'Aside from being a tasty treat,' I tell her ‘this is also a great opportunity for you to practice your pincer grip’

However once Smidge had tasted the yumminess of the sugary bun, she looked at me sternly ‘Stuff your silly pincer grip’ she conveyed ‘put it in my mouth damn it!’

Each taster was followed up by a frantic whine implying I wasn’t performing efficiently enough.

Eventually she switched tactics, put on her cutest face, looked up at me with those big brown eyes and  said ‘Oh please Mama…wont you tear me off my very own big strip to suck on?’

‘Well okay’ I negotiate ‘But I’m holding it’

So we sit there, her in complete ecstasy sucking away on this bun, Me feeling like my arm is about to drop off….

I wonder what’s in these things any way.. I ponder, performing a quick recipe search on google with my spare hand.

Browsing through the ingredients list  three scary words hop off the page ‘Glaze with Honey’

Oh no…what have I done? First I poisoned Stephen and Mr G with cheese and now I’m going to top off Smidge with the honey. 

I try to call the bakery to check the situation. Bloody BT call minder.

I try the health visitor. No answer,( he knows me too well.)

Panic struck and guilt ridden, I go to put a confused Smidge into the car, practically bringing the Bumbo seat and it’s stupid plastic tray with me.

We arrive at the bakery in record time. Illegally parked and sweating I swing open the bakery door to see a middle aged woman gassing away on the telephone.

‘Is there…

‘Is there.. honey in those Buns?’  I pant, swallowing a guilty lump and bracing myself

‘Them  buns? Them  buns there? ’she asks in a deep husky voice.

‘Yes the Chelsea ones’

‘Nah..not them, they ‘avent got any honey’

‘You’re sure?’

‘Definitely not’

Phew.. Says I,  breathing a sigh of relief and planting a kiss on a bewildered Smidges face.

‘Mummy was nearly a little bit stupid but it turned out okay’ I tell her.

‘I told you to just give me the bun’ says she, and we go home to finish it off.

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