There's no doubt at all that the very best gift a NICU Mum could have this Christmas is a stable day with her baby. A day free from the fright of another infection, a day tolerating feeds or in low oxygen supply, a day that doesn't bring surprises of the unwanted variety.
If a NICU Mum is really,really lucky maybe her baby will meet an important milestone this Christmas, a first cuddle,the move from ventilation to C-pap or that all important move from an incubator to a 'hot cot.'
Who would ever think this could be on a Mother's wish list? but it will be because this is exactly what hundreds of mum's of poorly babies want across the UK today.
When this time two years ago I was in intensive care, fixated on a monitor, watching my tiny baby's chest rise and fall, I cared nothing for the Christmas cheer that would warm peoples homes and see the faces of small children light up.
I cared nothing for what gifts I'd bought for relatives or what they'd bought for me, I just felt a strange combination of being upset and grateful all at the same time.
Upset that it had come to this, that here we were, watching a baby fight, experiencing possibly the worst Christmas ever. However, at the same time I was pleased, so pleased and grateful that she was still here and fighting and if I'm honest, that was what I think I held on to... that is what got me through, knowing that whilst she was there in front of me there was still hope...
and for Christmas I really wouldn't have wanted anything else.