Asda

Bright strip lights blaze down, glowing yellow over the supermarket isles.

Over sized cardboard pointy fingers are directing customers to the shortest available queue. 

Those fingers are stupid. If you paid me a hundred pounds an hour i wouldn't hold a fingers on a stick like that. So big and stupid and green.

Mummy-bot wonders over to the clothes area. She's only has two sets of clothes for weeks now and she needs something else to wear.

What would be the right thing she wonders..

But she doesn't wonder for too long. 

She doesn't wonder too much. 

What if something happens when she is wondering?

Mummy-bot quickly reaches in to her pocket to feel the presence of her phone. It's there, that's good.

 It's not vibrating either, that's good.

Pulling it our of her pocket she checks for  missed calls. There are none.

She stands still a moment. blankly fixated on the clothes department.

A woman in a green uniform pop's out of nowhere. she's wearing sparkly read earring's.

'Can I be of any help at all?'

Mummy-bot looks up and mindlessly recites 'I came to get clothes' She is like an Alien in a foreign land.

She picks up the first thing she sees.

She only wore that dress once.

> > > >Two years later (or there abouts) > > > >

Bright strip lights blaze down, glowing yellow over the supermarket isles.

Over sized cardboard pointy fingers are directing customers to the shortest available queue. 

Those fingers are still stupid but now they are local stupid pointy fingers instead, we are back in Devon.

And this time I am not shopping for clothes but for party food for my beautiful sweet baby girl.

Lists, Lists...so many lists.

But no matter how busy I am I still remember.

No matter how healthy she seems I still reach in to my pocket and eagerly await the reassurance of a blank telephone screen.

And no matter how many times I come home to a healthy peaceful Smidge I rarely turn in to our house with out preparing to see an ambulance.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to not think like that.

Sometimes I wonder when being me will feel okay again.