Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Too Prem To Party

As a live-in boarding school student I grew up around girls. We slept in the same dormitory,went to the same school and shared most of our weekends together. Perhaps this is why I've always enjoyed female company and love all things girly.

I guess who 'the girls' are have changed over the years, I've moved a few times and made new friends but I never forget the good times I've shared with various sets of lovely ladies at different points in time and am lucky that many of these women are still in my life today.

When I found out I was expecting Smidge I looked around for  friends who were pregnant  but not a sausage! They were all long since done with their child bearing years and I just figured I'd have to get myself some new girly friends who had babies too of around the same age.

Well I told you how that went, in this entry here, where I blogged about my experience at the post-natal group, but at the same time I knew that perhaps I was a little over sensitive, having just left hospital after a four month roller-coaster ride.

I knew as well how important it was to get out there and socialise, not just for me, but for Smidge too, to help her  learn, develop and to benefit from interacting with other babies her age.

After the initial six formal sessions, the post natal group continued to meet informally on the health visitors advice, and 'The girls' would meet for lunch every two weeks.

I went along to a few but then it was decided they would meet to go swimming, an activity that is not recommended for vulnerable babies. I did say this but they decided to make it a regular activity,until eventually they just met at the pool, how very inclusive.

Anyway, it was no great loss I thought, I'll just go to some other groups, structured ones, where I dont get asked awkward questions like 'how old is she?' and have to answer 'Oh she's twice as old as your baby, and yes, I know she's half her size'

So I started to take her to the local library because Smidge loves to sing and shake her instruments and we enjoyed many sessions there. Then one day, the post natal group started coming there. Well, fair enough I thought, not elated to see them but always polite and sociable.

But friday's  weren't the same after that as I was already feeling like an outsider but this last Friday, the worst EVER thing happened....

Well maybe not the worst ever thing, but a truly upsetting occurrence, The post natal ladies started openly talking about the first birthday parties that they were all throwing for their babies. There were three parties in total and all the babies were going to each others but Smidge was not invited.

 Can you believe it? SMIDGE WAS NOT INVITED!! Well I'll tell you what kind of a party that's going to be, A crap party, that's what!!

Well, I guess i'll take that as my cue to find some new friends at some new groups... and this time I'm not even going to mention that my Smidge was really prem because although I'm really really proud of her and how far she's come, she is now at an age where she doesn't need any special allowances and I guess I've learned that lending a bit of emotional support is just a bit too much like hard work for some Mum's.
Furthermore, once I get to these  groups and make three million new friends and one of those post natal mum's strolls in looking to widen her social network, I wont be holding back on distributing my party invites!

I know I'm being childish, unreasonable and pathetically immature, but do you know what? Today it really IS all about me.

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