Ever get the impression that you are not in charge? Because that is the very distinct impression I got when I found myself singing 'Wheels on the Bus' at ten past five this morning. Smidge's new waking up time. Yeah. Good call Smidge!
The day proceeded to go down hill as this sleep deprived mummy tried to negotiate her way to the very essential caffeine supply during those early hours.
In all my keenness, I foolishly put a far-too-moblie Smidge down on the kitchen floor and watched her tip over the dog's water bowl before my very eyes, creating a large puddle like effect for me to clean up. Nice.
'Pop her in the living room' I naively thought,opening up her toy box to expose the many items of plastic tac for her careful consideration...
Silly me again.
Not two minutes later I return and she is mid way through a fling fest. Yes I'm talking about the neatly folded laundry pile that was no more.
The cheekiest gummy grin emerges on her face to reveal two protruding tooshy-pegs.. Clearly she is over joyed. A sea of baby vests, jumpers and trousers surround her as she sits there, prouder than proud.
The clock strikes nine and suddenly I remember we have a play date in town with a new Mummy friend of mine, Must make a good impression.
Oh dear! all my clothes seem to old, too small or too snotted over. Finally I settle for a skirt I once paid too much money for and a top that partially disguised my unsightly shape.
Loading Smidge in to the car I am mortified to discover She has taken up the secret hobby of curing ham in her car seat, disgusting.
After finally finding car parking space in town, I step out of the vehicle. It's cold, subzero temperatures in fact and I am exposing two pasty white legs one of which has a large purple bruise on. very attractive.
I arrive at the cafe ten minutes early, and I get a text on my phone saying 'Sorry I'm going to be fifteen minutes late, I couldn't leave the house and the baby has thrown up all over me. Must be one of those days'
One of those days indeed.