Sunday, January 20, 2013



Doors. plural of door (Noun)

    1. "A hinged, sliding, or revolving barrier at the entrance to a building, room, or vehicle, or in the framework of a cupboard".

      Not too much of a problem once one reaches a suitable height.

      Unless they are locked that is.... 

      Unless they are locked and you really need to get through them, to get to the other side because there's something important there, something you need.. 
like your baby for example!

You guessed it, I'm talking about access to NICU. 

Now don't get me wrong I know security is important. Goodness know's when you go home at night you need to know that your baby is being kept safe. However on the flip side of that, if I were to create a list of the most needed things you could want in this highly anxious situation, locked doors is SO not featuring, it's totally off the page.

A friend and I were discussing it the other day and were commenting that despite the HUGE emphasis and metaphorical magnifying glass that hovers over the Mother/child bond, the fact that a Mother is left stood on the wrong side of a locked door for up to ten minutes waiting for someone to open it, is not considered a shaping factor at all.

Well let me tell you readers, it's already a pretty sorry state of affairs when you can do naff all for your baby.This factor alone makes you feel about as handy as a chocolate tea pot but that urge to go to the unit, to look in on your babies sweet little face, it still exists, in part and when the urge takes you, it is not a might, a could or a should, It's a must, A maternal drive that must be satisfied before the fear and angst overcome you again.

Interestingly enough, I discovered that the thought process that I'm about to describe (occuring in the five/minute wait at doors) is not one unique to me but seemingly universal to all NICU Mum's, bringing a most unwelcome spin on the daily NICU visit. Typically, it goes like this..

>>>>Rings buzzer.>>>>

No answer.

Thought 1:  'Why are they taking so long?' ....They are probably just busy!

Thought 2: Who are they busy with? Is it my baby?

>>>>Rings buzzer again >>>>

Thought 3: They know I am coming, They know I am here.They are avoiding letting me in because she's unstable.

Cue: Panic.

Cue Wants to ring buzzer again but doesn't want to be rude.

Cue: Really wants to see baby right now and really can't seem to gain entry...

Temporary reinforcement of feelings of powerlessness and maternal failure

>>>>>Rings buzzer again>>>>>> (longer, louder, more angry sounding bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)

The great intercom speaks finally.

>>> Enter's NICU Mummy >>>

and all is forgiven.

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